im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize