Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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