Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
