I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
