i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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