I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
