the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
