Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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