sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
