you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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