Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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