we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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