please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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