yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
