Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
