if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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