Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
