walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
