Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize