Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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