Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
