No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
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