After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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