Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize