Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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