NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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