dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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