His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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