Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
