Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
