Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
