my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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