Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
