She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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