It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
