Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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