I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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