Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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