He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
How's work?
Spinning.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
