allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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