smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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