i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
