Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize