i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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