yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
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NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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