can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
