Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
