Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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