I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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