I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
