I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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