i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Damn victory sex feels great
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
