Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
