It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
