..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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