Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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